Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
