So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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