We won't sleep together?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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