Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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