He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
