I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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