you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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