She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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