Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
