We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
