Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
