can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
