im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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