Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
