grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
