Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
