I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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