I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize