I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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