a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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