I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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