I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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