his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
