I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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