Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
