ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
