People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
