I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
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