well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
