HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
