Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
