So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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