your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize