Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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