yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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