It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
