So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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