hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize