Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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