oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
