i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
