All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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