If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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