It was confusing and full of hummus
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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