I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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