try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
