Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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