yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize