1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
