yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
