It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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