I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
