All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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