i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We need to get me chipped asap
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
