We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
