Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
