Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
