I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
