Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
