brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
