Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize